A poem from my travels this week in Calgary
What we were trying not to see
Behind us a cloud rimmed
By the electric light of a prairie spring’s
Sharp sunset casts a glow
On the towers downtown.
In that moment of reflection
A small truck carrying a small boat
Bolts over the Louise Bridge
Takes a hard right on Memorial Drive
And stops by the new sculpture
Full of quotes about war and loss.
“they’ve been pulling bodies from the Bow”
My companion says and I peer into
What little I can see of the churning
Waters below, wondering for a moment
How anyone could find anything as
Humble as a body in that flow.
Behind us the sun bends below the horizon
And the clouds clasp together to cloak
The twilight’s fading.
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I am here in the Morton Arboretum in Chicago where we are at the end of the first day of an Art of Hosting with our friends in the Illinois community of practice. We have just been harvesting out of a World Cafe that was held on the question of “What time it is in the world?” We used a design I have been using with teams and communities that are needing to do deep sensing. We went for three rounds on the same question and had the hosts at each table go and deeper into the conversations that were emerging. At the end of the Cafe, the hosts gathered in a fishbowl in the middle of the rest of the group and shared their insights, sensing into the patterns that were emerging. I listened with a poet’s ear tuned to the harvest and this is what I heard:
You have to be ready to die on the hill atop which you have heard the deepest call of the world
When you open the smallest space in your life, passion can erode obligation. You become more social, unable to be unaware.
You cannot see yourself in the window of a rushing train but only for a second. You need to slow down so that the reflection can be studied, a life examined.
What would a world looki like that is flowing in responsibility, courage, reverence and wakanza?
Responsibility and courage are individual acts. Reverance and wakanza are products of the collective context, they are responses that are woken up in us by the times.
Our children our the gift we make to the future, they are the long stake in the long view, the holders of wisdom, those carriers of what we have learned about how we have lived.
We are the ones we have been waiting for, and we have been waiting for lives and times beyond our own, living in lives and times beyond our own. We see ourselves as the gift to ourselves when others make it clear in relationship.
Our conversations touch every single other conversation. The world unfolds as one point presses upon another in a great chain of implication and connectivity. The technology of interconnection is vulnerability – the capacity to be open to one another. In that small open space, influence takes root. Ideas enter in that seem to have always been there.
I move and leave pieces of myself behind, and I have no story of grieving? No way to midwife the new in the hospice of the dying? What is being born when things are dying, what enters in when there is a puase in the breath between generations, between conversations, between breaths and between heart beats?
In the moments of silence that open between sounds, there is a chance for the smallest voice to be heard. The babble dies down and there is a pause and a small call has its chance to invite. Judgement kills that voice – sometimes aborts it before it even ever enters the world.
All we have are ideas – take a stand, do what you can to help others to stand. You can reach back to the head of every river to see why it is full of what it is full of. Every tributary signs its joining with specific minerals, with salts and metals, with vegetation and fish. You can find home by simply following the taste of it.
Host others, but host yourself first. Listen to others but first learn to listen to the wind, to listen to the birds and the way the ground moves beneath the feet of the deer. Learn to listen to why people say the things they say. To what soil or water fills their syllables with longing.
Presence. When you host you can become the vehicle through which the world speaks its story. And you hear what you are built for and you speak what you see in yourself.
We are not too busy for change, we are instead addicted to avoiding what is real and what needs doing. People are the agents for their own freedom. But that freedom cannot be won without something being let go. We are in a culture that doesn’t end things very well, but instead loads layers and layers of more on top of the foundation. With no rite of passage available, nothing gets completed and ushered out, there is no way to make space for the new. Honour and reverence.
We are crying for passages through and for the rites to understand them and to be invited into them.
Can you be authentic in your work if you’re not authentic in your personal life? How do you discover you are not aware of yourself without rites of passage and ceremonies that acknowledge what is coming and what is gone, what is to be picked up and what is to be put down.
How do we foster self-awareness when we perceive crises and emergency? We tell the truth and we tell all the stories, even the ones that represent success and resilience and that buck the trend of the depressing scarcity that keeps us embedded in fear, we insert pauses where previously we would rush to solutions.
We are a greedy culture, but we can be greedy for community and that hurts no one because it only activates the abundance that sleeps in a cradle of scarcity. We can’t afford to throw a few things on the grill and offer some to the neighbours? Come to me in the late sun of the evening when the wind is still and the birds think before they sing, and cars pass by quietly in the languid air. Come and share a meal, and tell me what is in your heart.
Like Meg says,
Notice what is going on.
Get started.
Learn as you go.
Stick together.
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Back in Monticello, Minnesota on the banks of the Mississippi River where we are running the third residential learning session in collaborative leadership for a cohort of groups working to improve health in their communities.
The river is high here, and the channel is full. Downstream, in the rest of the United States, the Mississippi is challenging communities and families who are in a fierce struggle to learn how to live with the river’s whims, with the river’s power and its overwhelming desire to renew the floodplains that stretch away from the main channel.
Sitting by the river yesterday it felt right to offer a blessing to the water so that as it travelled it would use its fullness for good, and it occurred to me that at the end of this nine month period of training and working together, our participants are also full and ready to move out and do serious work. So the dialogue poem I wrote this morning, a harvest of the check in circle, was offered as a blessing to the river of leadership that was flowing through this room.
I have grown more open
to new ways of working and meeting
collaborating, fabricating ideas
I have a garden where I relax
and am relaxed about taking time
having fun while I get things done.
Gradually graduating
expanding myself settling myself
knowing you as friends, partners and allies
tend to what’s starting, the group that tries to change the world
starts the work.
The river connects us,
sends a shiver of recognition
through names that come down to us
between the banks,
a thanks that is my privilege to offer
to this little village.
This is a space of learning,
earning my knowledge in a community that cares
moving forward together further than I ever dared to go
on my own.
I am always asking, who is not here? What do we need to be clear?
Together we can act without fear.
The process is here
and the chance to mentor is at hand.
It’s a transition that is sad on the one hand
but I’m glad to use the ning thing and get face to face
to learn how much more we can do.
I have comfort and peace, sitting in this chair
much more aware of my triggers and cues
so I know it’s not just a brainwashing ruse.
Instead it seeps into my work,
creeps into my practice, charms and disarms,
I came here guarded and shy
but over time I have started to fly with new skills,
more at home than I ever thought I’d be
in the chaordic space of discovery.
My art has been liberated,
and I can draw on the inspiration of the heart.
Just to come and sit in a room of friends
is an end in itself. But a space that gives so much learning
is the space I have been yearning for.
I’ve learned to fit and use this space to reclaim sanity
that has eluded me in my daily life.
I was feisty when I arrived, wanting to bust through walls,
but now what calls is a gentle opening of doors
and I see so much more.
Your stories change me and my work. Change is good
and growth is inevitable, even though what we are doing is unexplainable,
people know it has worth.
Communicating and collaborating I’m more self aware,
living without fear,
whether tending bar and slinging beer, there is a resilient wealth
that comes in my work public health.
I’m hip to this flip in ways of working
with sedated conversation, co-created presentation,
collective self-preservation.
Thankful and appreciative. I am no longer alone. These four I brought from home
mean the world to me. This has been like the blossoming of bulbs
the flowers reaching for the light through the occasional dump of snow,
always rising, always knowing that the spring is coming
that the flower will open and our power will rise into a glorious summer.
I am more aligned and intentional
more present and keeping a sentinel watch
over what old Swedes and Norwegians can do
posting statements on the doors that we will no longer go through,
and leaving notes about where else we will go, what else we will do.
My story has been one of complication,
each retreat has resulted in an emergency
some urgency that has resulted in surgery.
And that is true in community too, where we have focused on
what needs to be done…we can laugh now, but it isn’t always fun.
The truth is that we sometimes lose body parts that you can’t see,
we are working on invisible health disparities,
privilege and white supremacy channeling the energy
of discomfort from anger to resiliency, and working change to create opportunities
for long term change sustainability.
When I walked in here to see the circle
I knew the work was here, the task is to braid together
what we have made together, but I already grieve
for what we will leave behind when we go home,
and I don’t want to be alone.
I feel worthy to practice here.
The further I walk down the path of vague notions
the more I find oceans of possibility releasing into
In the car, we pool our learning, drink from the clear water
that we found in the place where we now ground ourselves
knowing that we can break patterns and do anything together.
Clarity and calm, and growing personally
has been a healing balm for me own growth and learning;
ideas rearranged by being with strangers
who are friends now and who chatter in the back of the van
that is speeding forward toward.
I can sit here through sun, rain and snow,
see the community that grows
from thirty kind hearts, sat beside a river that ever flows.
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As a traditional musician schooled primarily in the Celtic tradition, I am fond of traditional themes and devices for communicating messages. On our home island right now there is a sometimes fierce debate occurring about the future of the Crown lands, that involves the possibility of creating a national park. Today I was thinking about the complexities of the debate, and how it has seemed to me that those leading the opposition to the park are speaking on the one hand out of a concern for protecting something dear about our Island, but it has felt a little off to me. Like a father who won’t let his daughter grow up. That, it turns out is a a very old story, and so I made a little song today about our place, telling a little story that captures I think how I feel about the park, and the partnerships that we would enter into to make it possible.
the short answer is that, given everything, the option of establishing a national park on Bowen excites me. While I have been carefully weighing the pros and cons, and while I could happily live with either option, I am increasingly finding many of the articulated reasons for voting no to such a future to be riddled with pessimism, fear and clingy attachment. For me, a park offers Bowen a chance to be creative, interesting, beautiful and innovative in the way we move forward in the future. And so, here is the song:
Come gather round you islanders, a story I will tell
About a gorgeous maiden within whose midst we dwell
Whose beauty and whose presence was coveted as well
By her negative and ever doting father.
“I raised you from a baby,” he was wont to say.
“I saved you when an evil man came to steal you away,
I preserved the beauty that is yours for you to wear today
And I’d do the same again in an instant.”
Now the maiden had her suitors, who came from far and near
And every one her father met left her home with fear.
They sought her hand in marriage but left her place in tears
And her father only ever issued no.
One day as she sat watching the latest suitor leave.
Her heart began to fail and her breath began to heave
She felt herself imprisoned and she began to grieve
For the fading of the promise of her beauty.
She went to search the country for a partner for her life
A stable man who loved her, and who would take her for his wife
Who would stay beside her through the victories and strife.
And she found him and she brought him back to father.
With deep suspicion in his heart he looked him up and down
He accused him of an evil plot to usurp his crown
He met the maiden’s one true love with a stony frown
And he issued forth a stern and solid no.
Now the maiden didn’t stand for this and she looked him in the eye.
Said she “it’s time you stood aside and hold your strident cries
This suitor will be with me long after you have died.
And I know I’ll finally come to life beside him.”
Her father had no answer for this surprising turn
He showed so little interest in what she’d come to learn
His anger boiled over and he became more stern
And demand that she prove to him she loved him.
She sat down by her father and took him by the hand
She broke it to him gently so he would understand
His overbearing attitude and selfish reprimands
No longer had a claim upon her choices
For if the maiden were to stay within her father’s range
Her future would be grim indeed for as the world changed
She would stay forever in her father’s gilded cage
And her life would wither down to nothing.
Islanders you’ve strongly heard the tales others tell
You’ve seen the paranoia of the coming living hell
But surely you must know that a maiden can live well
If her partner helps her build a life of beauty.
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Back in November, I worked with my mate Teresa Posakony on a two day gathering the object of which was to work to apply brain science to policy questions on the prevention of adverse childhood experiences. On the first day I facilitated an Open Space event that brought together reserachers and brain scientists to discuss their findings and on the second day, we had panelists and Teresa ran a half day cafe to look at the implications of the research for policy making. I composed a poem at the end of the day.
As a part of the experience, we were shown a powerful video of the still face experiment, a test to see how infants respond when their care givers break the connection with them. It is very very powerful. Here it is:
Later in the day one of the panelists, Jennifer Rodriguez, referred to this video by saying that collectively, “society is the still face” when it comes to our children and youth.
That was the hook I needed for the poem, which was also informed by the words I saw and heard during the cafe. I read the poem and got a generous standing ovation.
Today I got an email from our clients which was sent by the researcher you see in the video, Dr. Ed. Tronick. Dr. Tronick was responding to our client, who sent him the poem and the recording of me reading it:
I really am quite moved by the poem and your comment about how much impact it has. When I began this work in my lab I had no idea that it might one day be so useful in getting children and families what they so desperately need. I love the poem – I will get it up in my office somewhere, especially what it brings together and the rhythm of it. Please tell Chris how much I appreciate it. It is just amazing. And more important than the SF or the poem is the work you and everyone at the conference are doing.
It is not enough to do work in the world without adding as much beauty as we can. The power resides in the songs, the poems, the images that we use to capture our collective experiences and to throw a light on how important they are to us as human beings.
Enjoy the harvest.