I am preparing some questions tonight for an exercise I am running, and I rediscovered this elegant and simple process for constructing questions that elicit stories, courtesy of the Ultimate Guide to Anecdote Circles.
Build the question.
People remember events when they can picture an image reminding them of a specific situation. Combine this idea with the suggestion of adding emotion and you have the two building blocks to create good questions.
First start with an image-building phrase:
- “Think about…”
- “Imagine…”
- “If…”
- “Consider…”
For example, ”Think about a time when you were given advice by your manager.”
Add an additional sentence or two to enhance the image:
“This might have been done formally in the office or perhaps outside the formal environment.”
Then add the open question with the emotive words:
“When have you been annoyed, ecstatic or perhaps just surprised by what you were told?”
Notice there is a spectrum of emotions, which increases the chances of a memory being triggered by the question.
Simply asking people to tell stories rarely results in stories being told. In fact people are often confused when you ask for stories, thinking they might have to concoct an event or perhaps demonstrate Hemingway-level storytelling. Consequently, we suggest you avoid the term ‘story’ and use terms like: examples, illustrations, experiences.
So simple and results in great questions.
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Researchers working on communication with dolphins came up with this list of 20 questions to ask our ceteacean cousins should we every be able to conduct a conversation with them:
- What name does your species call itself?
- What is the social structure of your pod? Of your general species?
- What species of Cetaceans are able to communicate with each other?
- Why do entire pods strand themselves?
- Are there environmental changes are that concerning to cetaceans?
- What are the most important things that we can do to help you?
- Do you have some way of preserving your knowledge, such as an oral tradition and mnemonic devices? If yes, what is the oldest memory or oral tradition that your species has?
- Does your species remember living on land?
- Do you perceive that your echolocation has an effect on human bodies?
- Do dolphins purposefully use their echolocation to affect humans physically, mentally or emotionally?
- Why do some dolphins save human lives?
- Do Cetaceans believe in a powerful entity that created the world?
- Do Cetaceans believe in an Afterlife?
- Is there important knowledge about the ocean which you think mankind is unaware of? Will you share that information with us?
- What would you like to know about humans that you have not been able to understand?
- Our evolutionary science/fossil records show that modern cetaceans evolved long before modern man. Some ancient human texts and several aboriginal creation legends claim that cetaceans have been observing mankind for a very long time and that you have played a role in our development. Is this true?
- Are cetaceans in communication with other animals on this planet?
- What ocean animals or organisms do you fear? ?
- Are cetaceans in communication with life forms beyond this planet?
- Does your species know what this planet looks like from space?
Some of these strike me as a little strange. For example, I think I’d like to know how dolphins think they can help us before I’d like to know if they are chatting with extraterrestrials. However, it’s an interesting exercise to think about. You might consider designing one similar to it if you are working with a group of people that is confronting another group for the first time, such as between cultures, or merging organizations or having a large company move into a small community, or even blending families.
(PS…the dolphins might not be as interesting to talk to as we thought they were…)
via SpeakDolphin – The First 20 Questions – From Humanity to the Cetaceans.
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I think one of the hardest things to do as a facilitator is master the art of giving instructions. Even for facilitators, public speaking can be a stressful experience, and there is nothing worse than trying to give instructions to a group while your knees are shaking and your mouth is dry. But for all facilitators, and and especially those of us who work with radically new ways of meeting, this is a whole art in itself. Giving instructions poorly leads to confusion and chaos and can quickly erode the trust of a group. Being too direct can shut people down and create a sterile meeting. The art is finding the space between the two.
My own practice of giving instructions has been informed by years of standing in front of people. From the time I was a young man, I spoke to groups as an activist, an actor, a musician and a teacher. That training, whether in the formal environment of a theatre or workplace or the informal environment of the street has helped me immeasurably to be be clear and present with a group. It doesn’t stop my initial nervousness – in fact I have come to deeply trust the feeling I get in my stomach that some call “stage fright.” My friend Barbara Bash once described it as “my creative energy arising” which is a much truer characterization. My job in preparing to work with a group includes fostering this feeling and giving myself enough internal emotional space to hold it and put it to good use. When I find myself too emotionally thin to hold the feeling, I notice that I tremble a little and begin experiencing it as fear. When I am emotionally resilient, the feeling becomes what athletes call “putting on my game face.” I feel ready, excited and focused. That state of mind is where I aim to be at the beginning of an event. So rule zero for this list is: Be Present.
Having said all that, when I am ready to step into the space I am hosting, I try to follow these rules for giving instructions:
1. Invite, don’t tell. Try to use language that invites people to participate in an activity. I hear many facilitators say things like “what you’ll do first is get into small groups and then you’ll talk about the issue and then you’ll report back. It will be great!” Instead, frame the instructions as an invitation: “I invite you now to get into small groups and discuss these issues. Once you have finished your conversations, choose someone to share your insights back with the full group.” Inviting language is important. No one likes to be told what they have to do, and even worse, no one likes to have their emotional experience pre-determined.
2. Speak the purpose clearly up front. Participants do not like being led by the nose through exercises that have no purpose. In your meeting planning, every item on the agenda should have a stated purpose related to the need to meet. If it doesn’t, then it becomes a waste of time. Use icebreakers and presentations carefully. Convene conversations around relevant and important questions. And when you introduce exercises be clear about why we are doing them and what bearing it has on the work of the group. People are much more comfortable knowing that we are going somewhere, even if they don’t exactly know where.
3. Describe as little as you have to to get the instructions across. I am guilty of breaking this rule all the time. I talk too much and sometimes restate things too many times. It comes from a desire to communicate clearly and make sure everyone “gets it.” In the past, I’ve had feedback from people that indicated that repetition of instructions is tiresome and can become patronizing (“Yes! We get it! Let’s get on with it!”). So be simple, be clear, use plain language and try to say it well the first time.
4. Shut up sooner than you think you have to. The art of shutting up is one I have been consciously practicing for many years now. When I have given the instructions, my role is to get out of the way, cleanly, clearly and fast. It drives me crazy when a facilitator trails off in instructions: “So off you go to your groups, remember to take notes, have a good conversation…don’t forget to listen to each other…uh…take notes, that’s important…” All of us who facilitate can find where we do this. These days I get done, build my final sentence to a bit of a crescendo and stop. Dead. And then I walk away. Make the break clear. If you do it well, there will be a moment of deep silence and the group will blossom into buzz. This goes for ending meetings too. Once you have said you final thing, stop talking. Don’t try to give any further instructions…no one will hear them anyway. If you’ve never seen Harrison Owen or Anne Patillo work, you’ve never seen the art of shutting up practiced by true masters.
5. People are more capable to be in confusion than you think they are. We want to help, and make sure that everyone understands what’s happening before we get to work. But clinging to this sentiment can result in stringing out instructions endlessly until we are sure everyone can get it. What I often do is give the instructions, ask for a show of hands for who is clear (rather than asking for question if people need clarity) and invite those who didn’t raise their hands to take their lead from those who did. Fear and confusion can be present in many meetings and this can often come out as a need for clarity in instructions. Often this is a canard and the real conversation needs to be about the fear and confusion within the group. Let people be a little confused and they will discover that they can get the clarity they need from each other, and they can get to work on the real sources of fear and confusion in the group. My improviser friends Viv McWaters and Johnnie Moore are never afraid to leave people confused, because they know that creative potential lurks there. Enough instruction to get to work…that is the goal.
6. If you get lost, start again but go slower. My friend Tenneson Woolf is a master of this. When he gets lost in giving instructions he pauses and checks in with himself and then starts again. And he goes slower the second time. This is a great practice. You don’t have to be perfect. If you get lost and muddled because nervousness or fear or confusion is present in your own mind, model clarity for the group. Stop, take a breath and start over. Slow down for your benefit and for the group’s benefit. You are always allowed to begin again, and you can often do so with humour. I am always relieved when I remember that it’s not my job to perfect the first time through.
7. In general it is better to get into process than to talk about it. Except with skydiving. My colleague Tim Merry is my model for this one. Facilitators love our tools. I want to tell you how Open Space works, how the power of self-organization leverages diversity to produce fantastic emergent results that help us find our way in the complexity of a living system. But your participants don’t care. Imagine a play where all of the symbols and metaphors were explained. Imagine hearing a Bruckner choral piece where the conductor spent 20 minutes discussing beforehand Bruckner’s theory that the bass line represented the creative force of God, from which all harmonics are sprung and created, mirroring the work of the Holy Spirit in liturgical….Jeez! Sing it already! Many times people will bombard you with hypothetical questions (“So, what happens if only three people come to our group?”) Such questions are a death knell for getting to work because by definition, there is no end to them and I guarantee that if you take one or two you will drift down the path of explaining how great your process is and why it’s going to work. Simply invite people to discover the answers for themselves and see rule 4. The only exception to this rule is skydiving and other TRULY dangerous activities.
So give these practices a try, and add some more below and see where that takes you.
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On setting the physical container for good collaboration:
In the 1960s, Timothy Leary coined the term “set and setting” referring to a context that influenced the outcomes of psychoactive and psychedelic drug experiments on his subjects. “Set” refers to ones mindset, “setting” refers to the environment in which the user has the experience. Now Im not necessarily suggesting that you administer psychoactive drugs to your participants, though Im sure that would make your job a whole lot more interesting. What I am suggesting is that “set and setting” play a significant, and often overlooked role, in your work as a trainer, facilitator, or group leader.
via The Center for Graphic Facilitation: FacilitatorU: Set and Setting.
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Back in November, I worked with my mate Teresa Posakony on a two day gathering the object of which was to work to apply brain science to policy questions on the prevention of adverse childhood experiences. On the first day I facilitated an Open Space event that brought together reserachers and brain scientists to discuss their findings and on the second day, we had panelists and Teresa ran a half day cafe to look at the implications of the research for policy making. I composed a poem at the end of the day.
As a part of the experience, we were shown a powerful video of the still face experiment, a test to see how infants respond when their care givers break the connection with them. It is very very powerful. Here it is:
Later in the day one of the panelists, Jennifer Rodriguez, referred to this video by saying that collectively, “society is the still face” when it comes to our children and youth.
That was the hook I needed for the poem, which was also informed by the words I saw and heard during the cafe. I read the poem and got a generous standing ovation.
Today I got an email from our clients which was sent by the researcher you see in the video, Dr. Ed. Tronick. Dr. Tronick was responding to our client, who sent him the poem and the recording of me reading it:
I really am quite moved by the poem and your comment about how much impact it has. When I began this work in my lab I had no idea that it might one day be so useful in getting children and families what they so desperately need. I love the poem – I will get it up in my office somewhere, especially what it brings together and the rhythm of it. Please tell Chris how much I appreciate it. It is just amazing. And more important than the SF or the poem is the work you and everyone at the conference are doing.
It is not enough to do work in the world without adding as much beauty as we can. The power resides in the songs, the poems, the images that we use to capture our collective experiences and to throw a light on how important they are to us as human beings.
Enjoy the harvest.