Yesterday I was on a commuter flight from Toronto to Montreal. For those of you not in North America, these two cities are the biggest two in Canada and the flight is full of corporate looking people who are wearing ties, nice trench coats, shiny shoes, power rim glasses, and carrying leather portfolios. In short it was a flight of business travellers, mostly men, mostly white.
What struck me as I watched people coming on was how grim everyone looked. Everyone looked deadly serious. They were quiet, travelling alone for the most part and quickly avoided making eye contact with others. It seemed as if most people coming on were worried or fearful. It was as if people were moving with a kind of forced confidence but what was so clear from the outside was how afraid everyone seemed to be of appearing to make a mistake.
At one point a man sat down next to me after expertly throwing his rollaway into the overhead bin. He mumbled a forced “good morning” without looking at me and then cracked open his newspaper. A minute later a woman appeared and showed him her boarding pass which indicated that he was sitting in her seat. The man looked mortified, stuttered out an apology to me actually tried to defend himself and justify his mistake and very nervously and clumsily moved across the aisle.
I was filled with a wave of sadness in that moment. I wanted to say to him “Hey, I won’t be the one that yells at you today for that little mistake.” I looked around the plane. People were so scared of making an error that everyone sat clenched in their seats quiet and grim. I was shocked…it became clear to me that some part of our society – let’s say “Corporate Canada” in this case – was gripped by fear. People actually looked traumatized or abused. They looked like people I know who are residential school survivors or who had survived a bad and abusive foster parenting situation. I can imagine them being yelled at for little things that have happened. It looked like the most risk averse group of people I have ever seen in one place. Risk averse because somehow each of them had paid a dear price fro sticking their necks out, a personal price.
The temptation to generalize is great. But let me say that most airports on a weekday morning during the fall and winter are full of faces like this. Business travellers, corporate sales managers, directors of HR, regional market analysts, associate finance directors, senior planning officers…all these middle management corporate positions staffed by people so full of fear that they shake with nervousness at the smallest mistake in their day.
I don’t work much in the corporate world, but maybe I should more. Maybe a little honest conversation, a little tolerance for exploration and creative problem solving, a little space opening could go a long way to softening the lives of those who wear a hard visage.
Share:
An email from a participant in a recent Art of Hosting-type workshop where I brought my juggling balls and taught juggling. One of the participants, a teacher, picked up the skill and left with my three balls in hand to evangelize play!
This may end up sounding like the silliest email ever but thanks for showing me how to juggle. I am really enjoying it. I have never found something that I am not hard on myself to perfect until now. I go outside, or inside and practice for a few minutes and if the balls drop, I just pick them up. Very cool. And I love feeling that I am improving. Yesterday I was showing my boss what I learned and I almost had to stop juggling because it was the longest I had gone. Then the balls fell and solved that problem! But one of the students as he got off the bus yesterday asked me what I learned at school and I told him I’d show him. I have never seen this child so enthusiastic about anything and when I was finally able to show the class, they all applauded! That was cool. But it was fun to be able to show the class something they could understand. Except there was another child who after my juggling display says, “what else did you learn”. So I go on to tell the class we learned a lot of what we are learning in preschool such as how to calm your body down. Then the same boy, “then what did you learn”, so I continue by saying I could host a world cafe. And again, “what did you learn”. I think this child has a future being a lawyer!
Far from the silliest email I have ever received. This is what makes teaching worth it, and why play matters so much.
Share:
I’ve recently been introduced to the work of Al Nygard, a Native consultant working out of South Dakota primarily in Tribal communities. Al’s approach and values are very similar to my own, and it’s cool to see familiar ideas in another person’s hands. Al works with traditionally based models of leadership and calls his community development work “community empowerment.”
Trust. This is about building relationships of mutual reliance. It’s about building trust between people, between families and between people and institutions.
Share:
Just announced the summer programs at the ALIA Leadership Institute in Columbus, Ohio this summer. I’m thrilled to be back on the faculty at the Institute teaching with Luana Busby-Neff from Hawaii, Pawa Haiyupis from Ahousaht and Tim Merry from Nova Scotia. We’ll be continuing our collective inquiry about applying indigenous world views to systemic challenges together. We;ll be drawing heavily on the work of the Berkana Institute, the Art of Hosting community of practice and traditional perspectives including Malama Ole from Hawaii and Tsawalk from Nuuchanulth.
Please consider joining us…richness will abound.
Share:
- A beautiful sunny day for my son's 10th birthday. #
- Deer everywhere http://post.ly/1AX99 #
- Snow on the mountains last night buy clear dawn this morning. http://yfrog.com/gq9jlj #
- Arrived by the shores of the Mississippi in central Minnesota. It's a surprisingly warm night. #
- http://yfrog.com/c8xqwxj sunset on the Mississippi River at Monticello MN. A balmy early Nov evening with a river swollen by fall rain. #
- First real snow on the mountains http://post.ly/1BOVm #
- Crisp morning on the Minnesota plains. Frost last night but warm sun again today. #
- No matter what happens, the sun arises every dawn. No matter how still you are thoughts arise in your mind. Just watch both. #
- What I've been up to this week, as seen through my iPhone: http://youtu.be/iXKLIzwE_fA #
- Visiting the graves of my ancestors in Feversham Ontario with my mom on a warm November afternoon. http://yfrog.com/0327328302j #