On arguing with reality

The Dalai Lama doesn’t have a blog, but luckily we have the daily mailings from Beliefnet. The one that came today reads simply:

We create suffering for ourselves in the space we create when we take on the world and lose. When I am working with groups I usually make some comment at some point about the use of the word “should.” Any time we use that word we are arguing with reality and when we do that, as Byron Katie says, “we lose, but only always.”

It amazes me how much pain we humans can create for ourselves through judgment and longing. Anytime I find myself using “should” I look at it as a trigger for a question. “Should” is a sign that we need to inquire into the nature of our expectations about things. From there we can create strategy for either changing the world to bring it in line with our vision, or changing ourselves to recognize reality and alleviate our own suffering.