Martha Mills 1976 – 2004

My cousin Martha Mills died in a tragic car accident along with her fiancee and his business partner on Monday. Her funeral is today in Canmore, Alberta. If you’re so inclined, spare a prayer for her parents and her brothers, as well as the families of the others.

It’s funny how I never really knew Martha. When she was a baby I moved to the UK and when I returned I was in high school and she was beginning kindergarten. By the time I went away to university and then got on with my life, I saw her only very occasionally. But in 1996, when my father’s family sold my grandparent’s summer cottage, we all gathered there for a reunion. I was amazed to meet this confident young woman who, for all intents and purposes, had appeared out of nowhere. I had only remembered her as a baby, or a small quiet kid, and her transformation was amazing.

She had been living in Canmore for the past few years with her fiancee Sean. By all accounts they were soul mates, the best of friends and true partners. I wish I had known them better.

Sogyal Rinpoche, in the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, counsels that because we are all going to die at some point, we should treat everyone with the compassion that you would normally reserve for a dying person. It’s events like this that really remind us how fragile life can be, and how much more mindful we should be in our daily relationships with each other.